With God | Tears, Tantrums & Fears
Where have you been?
I've been depressed. I've been sad. I’ve been learning that physical space isn't nearly as important as mental space. I've been scared. I've been loved. I've been seen. I’ve been fighting for joy. I've been fighting for peace. I've been fighting for my life every single day.
I've laughed, I've loved, I've lived, I've connived, I've been.
I am here.
Learning and growing in allowing God to breathe life back into my mind. To breathe life into my apathy. To bring joy and community in me, through me, and to me.
I've been alive.
I've been running from a 9 to 5. I've been running from airports. I’ve been running from debt collectors. I've been running from my fears. I've been running through these tears. I've been growing, growing through some childhood fears. I've stumbled, I've said the wrong thing, gave the wrong look, I've apologized, I've called. I’ve realized I love my family more than anything on this Earth. I've served. I've learned my life is not my own. I've cried learning to live is to give of myself, of my time, of my words despite the fears of getting hurt or critiqued to oblivion.
I am here…
I'm alive…
I'm in Miami…
Stop by and say Hi.
…just in case you were wondering…
In reference to those who have followed me through my college journey where I was teaching, learning and glowing with Gods love and passion for people, life and travel to where did “Nehemie go?” when all my after-college plans died one by one, day by day and I deleted my facebook and stopped answering phone calls or texts for close to a year (2018) to now (Dec 2019) where I feel healthy enough to start living again. Where I feel free enough to start speaking and sharing again without feeling like a fraud, without feeling like a failure knowing that every thing I touched turned to dust but now with that dust God has begun to do a new thing, revitalizing my heart to love life again, renewing my mind to think again, clearing my vision to see beauty again, and clearing my throat to speak clearly again.
Thank God, that change always comes! So no matter where you are now, hold onto knowing that this will not be your always. Where I was is not where I am now : mentally, physically, spiritually... Thank God for new beginnings!